i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The Olympian is in my bed
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