Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
