note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
