Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
