You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
