just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
