found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
