i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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