Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
