Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ladies don't puke and tell
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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