you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
