another moral hangover. fuck.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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