I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
