I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
