? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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