sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
