Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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