She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
