i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
