so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
