just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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