but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize