Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
