i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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