What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
