are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize