All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm at about main and main street
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
