Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
