talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
