Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
