you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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