Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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