hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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