I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
soo... how was my night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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