he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
