the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
