R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
