You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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