the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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