you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize