No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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