On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
