you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize