I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
