Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
MIDGETS
????
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
