My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
