Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
