You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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