awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
love makes seman taste better
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize