I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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