Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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