I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
