have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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