things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
