This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
