yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
